Ihsan towards Parents

Ihsan towards Parents

Allah says in Surah An-Nisaa [4:36]:

وَاعْبُدُوا اللَّهَ وَلَا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا ۖ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا 

“Worship Allah and join none with Him in worship, and do good to parents”

And in Surah Al-An’am [6:151]:

قُلْ تَعَالَوْا أَتْلُ مَا حَرَّمَ رَبُّكُمْ عَلَيْكُمْ ۖ أَلَّا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا ۖ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا

“Say (O Muhammad): "Come, I will recite what your Lord has prohibited you from: Join not anything in worship with Him; be good and dutiful to your parents”

We are commanded with Ihsan towards Allah and then Ihsan towards our parents. 

In Surah Al-Israa [17:23]:

وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour.”

In the Sunnah, the Prophet ﷺ said in a Hadith reported by Bukhari:

الْكَبَائِرُ الإِشْرَاكُ بِاللَّهِ، وَالْيَمِينُ الْغَمُوسُ، وَعُقُوقُ الْوَالِدَيْنِ

“The greatest of the major sins are three: To join partners with Allah in worship, to take a false oath, and to be undutiful to one’s parents.”

[Al-Bukhari #6870]

In these verses Allah connected Shirk with undutifulness to parents (عقوق للوالدين). He joins his rights with the rights of the parents. 

Why?

 -> To emphasize that undutifulness to parents is a grievous sin; it comes after Shirk. Allah and His Messenger ﷺ draw our attention to the great rights of the parents. 

-> The common ground between Shirk and undutifulness to parents is ungratefulness. Shirk is to direct an act of worship to someone else instead of Allah. Allah bestows favours and bounties upon you and you thank someone else. Similarly, parents have been doing good to their children ever since they were young. They spent on them, educated them, sacrificed their lives for them, but instead of returning that good with good, many children return it with ungratefulness.

Undutifulness to Parents (عقوق للوالدين) is of degrees:

1) To harm the parents.

2) To neither harm nor do good. This is a lesser degree but it is also considered undutifulness (عقوق). Why? Because Allah commanded us to do good to them. It is thus obligatory on us to do good to them. 

The one who is preparing for the Hereafter should be preparing with Tawheed and dutifulness to parents. But because this world dominates the hearts of the people nowadays, many people look at their parents as a burden and source of misery for them. They feel like their parents cost them a lot. They only think of their benefit in this life so they look at their parents as having no benefit for them, especially when they become old. And when they become old and weak is when they need us to benefit them the most; when they are not strong anymore and we become strong. This could be a test for you.

Some people who have wealthy parents may hope for some benefit from them or look at them as baby sitters, and do not think about the rights the parents they have on them. They only think about how much they can benefit from them.

Old people are thrown into nursing homes in the east and the west and their children do not ask about them. Allah emphasized the rights of the parents in Islam and connected their rights to His rights. If you have parents praying and fasting in your house then receive glad tidings that Allah will send blessings on that house, because the Prophet ﷺ said: 

البركة مع أكابركم

Blessings are with your elders

[Sahih Ibn Hibban #559 and authenticated by Al-Albani]

And he ﷺ said in another Hadith:

ابْغُونِي ضُعَفَاءَكُمْ فَإِنَّمَا تُرْزَقُونَ وَتُنْصَرُونَ بِضُعَفَائِكُمْ

Seek out the vulnerable among you. Verily, you are only given provision and support due to your support of the weak.

[Sunan At-Tirmidhi #1702]