Dua Qunoot was an example on how to bring up our children through the concepts in the Quran and Sunnah. We took one Hadith and extracted the concepts we want to build in children. You can also take a Surah and extract the lessons you want to teach your children.
What is the aim behind teaching concepts to children?
It is important as a mother and teacher to correct the way our children think. They have to think correctly; in the way pleasing to Allah, to think about what benefits them, and what Allah commanded them with.
We do not want our children to think wrongly or get deviated by doubts, Waswaas, and wrong beliefs. We want them to think correctly, so that when they grow up and go through different situations, they will take correct actions. Their minds will be protected from wrong beliefs.
What should we do? Three things:
1) We have to direct the attention of our children to the matter we want to teach them.
i.e. A Name of Allah, an Attribute, a Rule, a Concept, a Manner
2) Then give the child correct information, which is from the Quran and the Sunnah.
3) You either do so through activities or مهارات (skills).
E.g.
Tell your child: Look at this world, there are so many colours.
Who created the colours?
You answer yourself:
الله خالق كل شيء - Allah created everything
If the child does not have enough information, he will not have enough feelings. If he does not have enough information about Allah, he will not have good feelings towards Allah. We need to build up these feelings through correct information.
Another way is giving them rules, and this can be done with both young children and teenagers:
و من يتق الله يجعل له مخرجا"
و يرزقه من حيث لا يحتسب"
Whoever fears Allah, Allah will make him a way out from every difficulty
And will provide him from means he never even imagined
You want to teach this rule to your child. You either:
a) Raise Questions
b) Relate Stories
Telling stories is the most enjoyable thing to children and the easiest way to teach them. And the Quran is full of stories.
E.g. You want to teach this rule. You could use the Story of Yusuf عليه السلام.
Yusuf عليه السلام was seduced by a woman, and he feared Allah, and Allah brought him out of the difficulty. Allah put him into prison for a while, then took him out and made him a minister. This is the result of Taqwa.
What was the way Allah protected Yusuf عليه السلام? Prison.
And Allah يرزقه and made him a Minister.
E.g. Lot عليه السلام. He didn't respond to his people, and Allah rescued him and destroyed his people.
Give them the rule and tell them a story. This is the easiest way to teach children.
E.g. "لا تحزن إن الله معنا" - Do not grieve, Allah is with us
-> The Story of the Prophet ﷺ
E.g. Your son or daughter comes upset because the children are making fun of him. Say:
"إن الله مع الصابرين' - Verily, Allah is with the patient
Allah is with the patient - if Allah is with you, He will support you, guide you, protect you, etc.
This is how you teach your child to deal correctly with the situations he goes through in life. It is very wrong to say, "Tomorrow we'll go to the principal and complain."
You teach this rule to him, so when he grows up, he will take the correct decision. He will be patient, and Allah will support him and protect him.
You need to repeat the rule again and again through different situations they go through. Be patient. Repeat the same rule until they come and tell you to be patient when you are tired and upset. They will repeat the same words you were teaching them for one month. And we need this - we need children who will support us in our faith. We do not want children who will take our faith away from us. You put effort now, so that tomorrow, you will benefit from that effort.
E.g. إن أحسنتم أحسنتم لأنفسكم - If you do good, you do good for yourself
If your child comes complaining they did not appreciate him or give him a gift, you tell him this rule. You are doing good for yourself, and you will get the reward from Allah.
-> The Story of Musa عليه السلام with the two girls when he watered the flock of sheep. He immediately turned away and did not wait for appreciation. Then he made Dua to Allah, and Allah enriched him and gave him a family. He ran away afraid and returned back having money, a wife, children, and while secure. If you do good you do good for yourself.
E.g. "إن الشيطان لكم عدوا فاتخدوه عدوا" - Verily the Shaytan is your enemy, so take him as an enemy
When you see your children fighting with each other, ask them who this fight is because of. Who made you fight? The Shaytan.
-> The Story of the Shaytan with Adam عليه السلام
First, Iblees did not prostrate to Adam. He hates Adam and he hates us.
Secondly, he plotted against Adam. He caused him to come out of Paradise, and promised that he will mislead us all. And what you are doing now is what he promised. He promised he would whisper, cause enmity, etc.
You need to repeat this again and again until they tell you the answer. Then you know that this rule is established in their heart.
The effect of these rules will come out in the age where they take decisions. They will speak how you were speaking, using your words and your behavior.
c) Through Activities
We have to teach our children skills.
-> The Skill of Comparison
E.g. Comparing between the believers and disbelievers.
After telling them a story, ask: What was the end of the believers? Allah rescued them
What was the end of the disbelievers? Allah destroyed them
E.g. The believer in the family of Pharoah -> Allah loves him -> What did he do?
Pharoah -> Allah hates him- What did he do?
The believers are the best of creation
The disbelievers are the worst of creation
Result: The child does what the believers do, and does not do what the disbelievers do.
This helps your child in making decisions.
-> Skill of Summarizing
Tell them a story. Then come later that day and ask them to give you a summary of the story. This is the skill of summarization and it shows you how much they grasped.
We have to train the minds of the children. They will be able to make decisions as a result.
Generally, we have to repeat the rules profusely in order to strengthen their feelings. We should have a story then extract rules from it, or set rules and then find stories for it.
When we teach Names and Attributes of Allah we tell a story and extract the Actions of Allah or the Names of Allah from that story.
E.g. Surah Al-Feel
The Name of Allah الرب، الصمد.
الصمد is the Master who is sought at the time of need. Whenever we need something, there is no one we can resort to or flee to except Allah.
From the Story of the Elephant we ask: Who resorted to Allah; الصمد? Abdul-Muttalib. He said, "I cannot do anything. The Ka'bah has a Lord, and He will protect it."
All the People of Makkah resorted to Allah. They knew that Allah is الصمد, and accordingly Allah protected and guarded the Ka'bah.
- Use simple words which are to the point when you teach children.
- Also beware of fictitious stories. Never tell wrong information or fictitious stories. They will not trust anything you say tomorrow, because you used to tell them lies. Use stories from the Quran, correct information which is to the point, and do not add anything from yourself to it. You are building belief in them, how can you build belief in fictatious stories?
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