Concept #1 - الهداية
Concept #2 - العافية
Concept #3 - الولاية
Concept #4 - البركة
Most people nowadays are concerned with having more of worldly matters. They collect certificates, collect money - "ألهاكم التكاثر" - while not being concerned with having بركة in whatever they have.
You may have money or many children, but there may be no بركة in them. It is not about the quantity, it is about having بركة in what you already have.
First Aqeedah [Belief]: Allah is the One who puts the بركة and no one else. He puts the بركة in your money, children, marriage, not you.
Second Aqeedah [Belief]: We should not compete and be concerned with having more of worldly things. We should be satisfied with what we already have and ask Allah to bless it. People are engaged in competition, although the Prophet ﷺ said:
لاَ تَبَاغَضُوا، وَلاَ تَنَافَسُوا، وَكُونُوا عِبَادَ اللهِ إِخْوَانًا
Do not hate one another nor contend with one another. Slaves of Allah, be brothers." [Al-Adab Al-Mufrad - Authenticated by Al-Albani]
عن الْمِسْوَرَ بْنَ مَخْرَمَةَ أَخْبَرَهُ أَنَّ عَمْرَو بْنَ عَوْفٍ وَهُوَ حَلِيفُ بَنِي عَامِرِ بْنِ لُؤَىٍّ وَكَانَ شَهِدَ بَدْرًا مَعَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم - أَخْبَرَهُ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم بَعَثَ أَبَا عُبَيْدَةَ بْنَ الْجَرَّاحِ فَقَدِمَ بِمَالٍ مِنَ الْبَحْرَيْنِ وَسَمِعَتِ الأَنْصَارُ بِقُدُومِ أَبِي عُبَيْدَةَ فَوَافَوْا صَلاَةَ الْفَجْرِ مَعَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَلَمَّا صَلَّى رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم انْصَرَفَ فَتَعَرَّضُوا لَهُ فَتَبَسَّمَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم حِينَ رَآهُمْ ثُمَّ قَالَ " أَظُنُّكُمْ سَمِعْتُمْ أَنَّ أَبَا عُبَيْدَةَ قَدِمَ بِشَيْءٍ " . قَالُوا أَجَلْ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ . قَالَ " فَأَبْشِرُوا وَأَمِّلُوا مَا يَسُرُّكُمْ فَوَاللَّهِ مَا الْفَقْرَ أَخْشَى عَلَيْكُمْ وَلَكِنِّي أَخْشَى أَنْ تُبْسَطَ الدُّنْيَا عَلَيْكُمْ كَمَا بُسِطَتْ عَلَى مَنْ قَبْلَكُمْ فَتَنَافَسُوهَا كَمَا تَنَافَسُوهَا فَتُهْلِكَكُمْ كَمَا أَهْلَكَتْهُمْ " . قَالَ أَبُو عِيسَى هَذَا حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ صَحِيحٌ .
The Prophet ﷺ warned us of competition. We have to ask Allah for البركة, which is contrary to competition. Competing has become part of the mentality of the masses, and they may blame you, saying that Allah said in Surah Al-Mutafiffeen [83:26]:
"The last thereof (that wine) will be the smell of musk, and for this let (all) those strive who want to strive (i.e. hasten earnestly to the obedience of Allah)."
We should compete with each other for the delights of Paradise, not worldly matters.
البركة = The continuity of the matter and increase in benefit and blessings
Those who are occupied in competition are never satisfied. If a person has something others do not have he feels satisfied and good. But as soon as he hears that someone has the same as he has, he loses the taste of what he has, and looks for something that others do not have. And this is competition. People are always keen to be different, distinguished, rare. They always look at what other people have and want more. This is what the Prophet ﷺ forbade us from.
Apply this to our children:
Do not divert your child with competition by comparing him to others
E.g. We should not tell our children: Look at your cousin, look at your neighbour, look at your brother, you should be like them.
Whoever does this to their children will destroy them. Allah created children of different natures and
capabilities. When you say, "Be like that or better than that" he cannot physically be like that, because he is a different person. Do not compare your son or daughter with other people's children, because he is different.
How do I encourage my child then? Tell her: Ask Allah to bless what you already have.
When she is studying, she might say "I don't understand", so tell her: Ask Allah for البركة, because if He puts بركة, He will make you understand and benefit from what you understand.
E.g. She comes home from school saying, "I have so many assignments, so much homework, I have no time"
Tell her: Ask Allah to bless your time for you, because if Allah blesses your time, you will accomplish all what you want in a short time, and you will still have free time to do other things.
Give her the example of the Prophet ﷺ, and how his time was blessed, as mentioned in the previous class.
Having a blessed time means accomplishing many things in such a little time.
How can you detect if your time was blessed in a certain day or not? Only the believers can feel the بركة. Sometimes they did many things in one day, and other times one matter takes you days to accomplish. You might wonder why one thing is taking so long to finish - so what should you do? Ask Allah for البركة.
Say: "اللهم بارك لي فيما أعطيت"
When you say it, say it while understanding it from your heart.
Take advantage of the situations you go through with children to emphasize the importance of asking for بركة.
What are the means of attaining البركة? There are many means of attaining بركة in your life. The Quran, for example, is a بركة. The Scholars say that if you increase your portion of the Quran, you will see بركة in that day. And yet some people recite less because they do not have time.
What removes البركة? Envy. Competition, looking to what the people have, etc.
We need to bring our children up on the concept of بركة. You do not tell your child to make a timetable of what he will do the entire day. You will find people who make timetables never end up sticking to it. Allah is nurturing us; teaching us that He is the One who gives us Barakah. This does not mean do not organize or plan. Organize and plan but ask Allah for بركة. It is not the matter of making a timetable. Do not let the hearts of your children be attached to materialistic things, but to Allah who gives البركة.
E.g. Your children are fighting for something. One takes a big share another takes a small, and the one who has a small share cries. Tell her: It is not a matter of how big or small your portion is. Ask Allah to bless the piece you have taken.
They fight because they want more. Tell them: Ask Allah for البركة; to bless what you already have. There is no need for fighting. This is your Rizq from Allah, be satisfied with it.
The problem is that we need to be nurtured and trained first, until it floods out from our hearts to our children. But because we are not filled with this concept, we lack teaching our children this concept.
E.g. Your son buys a mobile in the day, and in the night it falls and is broken. He will say evil eye, you say: There was no بركة in that mobile. Did you ask Allah to put بركة in it for you?
Whenever you buy anything, ask Allah to put بركة in it for you, so that you will benefit from it for a long time. But we blame it on the Chinese brand. It is not the brand, it is Allah who puts the بركة. We get carried away by brands, luck, evil eye, without thinking that Allah is the One who gives the بركة. If you ask Allah for بركة, even the chinese made product will last for you. You will see how Allah will preserve it, and others will use it and benefit from it, and it is still in good condition. Ask Allah for the بركة and tell your children to ask Allah for it.
It is not only that we ask Allah to bless our things, we should ask Allah to bless us and our children - to make us مباركين أينما كنّا - to be blessed wherever we go. To be blessed means to be beneficial wherever we go. It means that wherever you sit or whoever you accompany, people will benefit from what you say and what you do.
If you asked the youth in the past what they wanted to be when they grew up, they would say a doctor or an engineer. They wanted position and respect, but were too shy to say it. Nowadays, the youth will openly tell you that they want to be famous and everyone to talk about them. We should tell them: It is not important to be famous; it is more important to be blessed; beneficial to yourself and the community. There are many doctors and engineers who are not blessed. It is not your title and position, it is who you are, what comes out of you. If you benefit people, you are a blessed person.
How can I teach my son or daughter to be a blessed person?
Draw his attention to what Allah has given him of talents. If he is just focused on being a doctor or an engineer he may overlook his talents which will help him benefit the people.
E.g. Your daughter is good in speaking. She can be a Da'iyah.
E.g. He is good in writing. Benefit people with your writing
E.g. She is good at cooking. Use your talent in cooking to benefit the people.
In Surah Al-Insan, Allah mentioned that the Abrar in Jannah used to feed others while in this world, and this is what made them enter Paradise.
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