Children who are 8+ need concepts to be built up in their hearts. You may wonder how they will be able to understand. During this age, it is not important for them to understand, it is important for them to listen, memorize, and grasp. Understanding will come when they grow up. As soon as they become teenagers, all what you built up in them will appear on them, and they will understand what you were saying when they were children.
The Prophet ﷺ taught his grandson, who was 8 or 9 years old at the time, the following concepts in the Dua Al-Qunoot. We, as mothers, should teach these concepts to our children.
Concept #1 - الهدايا
You have to tell your child that Allah is the One who guides, and he has to seek the means of guidance from Him.
Concept #2 - العافية
Tell your child to ask Allah to give him العفية in his life, body, Religion, heart, etc.
Peace of mind, rest of the heart, a healthy body, a good heart without grudges or hatred all fall under the meaning of العافية. It includes every aspect of your life in this world and the next.
E.g. When you hear someone afflicted, you say "اللهم إني أسالك العافية"
You ask Allah to protect you from all kinds of evil.
Concept #3 - الولاية
You are asking for Allah to be your Wali; for Him to love you, support you, protect you, defend you.
When your child complains that she has no friends, no one loves her, etc. she is seeking a Wali. Tell her: It is not important for people to love you. It is more important for Allah to love you.
How can I be a Wali of Allah? Allah said in Surah Al-Baqarah [2:257]:
"Allah is the Wali (Protector or Guardian) of those who believe. He brings them out from darkness into light. But as for those who disbelieve, their Auliya (supporters and helpers) are Taghut [false deities and false leaders, etc.], they bring them out from light into darkness. Those are the dwellers of the Fire, and they will abide therein forever."
"الذين ءمنوا"
If you believe in Allah, the Angels, the Day of Judgement, etc. Allah will be your Wali.
In Surah Yunus [10:62-63]:
"No doubt! Verily, the Auliya' of Allah [i.e. those who believe in the Oneness of Allah and fear Allah much (abstain from all kinds of sins and evil deeds which he has forbidden), and love Allah much (perform all kinds of good deeds which He has ordained)], no fear shall come upon them nor shall they grieve,"
"Those who believed (in the Oneness of Allah - Islamic Monotheism), and used to fear Allah much (by abstaining from evil deeds and sins and by doing righteous deeds)."
Tell her: Believe in Allah and have Taqwa. Taqwa is to avoid what makes Allah angry. Stay away from what Allah made Haraam, and do what Allah loves. Then Allah will be your Wali.
What does it mean if Allah is my Wali?
Allah will be your ears which you hear by, your eyes with with you see, your feet with which you walk.
Do you know what this means?
Allah will protect your ears and eyes from listening to what displeases Him, your feet from going to places which displease Him, etc.
And if you ask Allah, Allah will give you.
If you seek shelter with Allah, Allah will protect you.
What more do you want than that?
Allah is enough for you.
It is in this way that you implant in your child that she should seek the Wilayah of Allah and not the Wilayah of people. So tomorrow she will not come saying, "I'm going to take off my Hijab because otherwise no one will be friends with me."
Tell your child that Allah is the Most High and will protect her, and that the people are weak.
If Allah loves you He will put you in Paradise, if these people love you, where can they take you?
You also have to tell your child that people are of different ranks in their Wilayah of Allah. Those closest to Allah in a Wilayah are those who are strongest in their belief and Taqwa. Those who have weaker Eeman have lesser Wilayah. So increase in faith in order that Allah is with you and protects you.
How can I ask Allah to be my Wali? "و تولّني فيمن توليت"
This is what you cultivate in childhood, so when the child becomes a teenager, he will benefit from what you have taught him. When children are young they receive, when they are older they do not receive, they give away.
"و بارك لي فيما أعطيت"
Concept #4 - البركة
Adults themselves have problems with understanding the concept of بركة. We need to understand it in order to be able to convey it to the children.
When you ask Allah for بركة you ask Allah to make the goodness in whatever He has given you of favours continuous and to make it grow.
People are so keen on having more and more of wealth and properties, without thinking about asking for بركة in what they already have - to make the goodness in what they have continuous and to increase it. This behavior is transmitted to their children. So when this child grows up and works, he will look at his salary as little, and want a job with a higher salary. Instead of asking Allah to bless him in what he already has, he will want to change his job for a higher salary. This is the mindset of most people, except those whom Allah has mercy. You rarely find someone who is satisfied with their income and job, because the concept of بركة is missing from their lives. All they see is that they need more; they do not see that having little while it is blessed will be enough.
E.g. A person has a salary of 1000KD while another has a salary of 300KD. The former complains that her money quickly finishes; by the middle of the month it is all gone. بركة is when you have little amount but it is more beneficial. It is not a matter of how much you have. A person may have a lot of money, but because there is no بركة, the money always goes for doctor appointments, the car is always in the garage, etc.
In one night of Qiyam, the Prophet ﷺ recited Surah Al-Baqarah, Aal-Imran, and An-Nisa in one Rak'ah. Nowadays in 12 Rak'ah the Imam only manages to reach Aal-Imran, and people become happy because they finished three Juz.
The Prophet ﷺ performed one Hajj in his entire life. He slept in Muzdalifa and after sunrise he made supplication, headed towards the Jamarah, threw the stones, slaughtered 63 camels with his own hands, then he stood for a while answering the questions of the people, then he headed to the Ka'bah for Tawaf Al-Ifadah. He finished all that until Thuhr time. Compare this to us.
This was the بركة of time. Have we invoked Allah from our heart to give us بركة in everything He gave us? In our lives, time, wealth, etc. But because we say it without understanding the meaning, there is no effect on us.
Also, people who compete with each other fail to understand the concept of بركة
E.g. Two people work in the same job. Both of them have their eyes on each other always competing. The Prophet ﷺ said:
لاَ تَبَاغَضُوا، وَلاَ تَنَافَسُوا، وَكُونُوا عِبَادَ اللهِ إِخْوَانًا
Do not hate one another nor contend with one another. Slaves of Allah, be brothers." [Al-Adab Al-Mufrad - Authenticated by Al-Albani]
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