Children are blessings which Allah granted us and we need to discharge this responsibility in a way which pleases Allah. Because children are a trust, we have to take the means of their reformation and protect them from corruption.
How do I know if the trust in front of me has not been corrupted? When you see the signs of faith on him, the word of Eeman coming on his tongue, etc. This indicates that you have done your duty towards him.
But if he starts to have doubts about Allah, or utters words of Kufr, or words of atheism, it means that the trust in your hand has been spoilt, and you are accountable for that.
Concepts should be taught to children who 7 or 8 years old and above. We should establish the different concepts of faith in them, using the Quranic texts and the Authentic Hadith of the Prophet ﷺ.
Children who are from 3 to 7 should have the actions of Allah repeated to them.
Dua Al-Qunoot
The Prophet ﷺ taught it to his grandson who was 8 or 9. This means that our children of that age can be addressed by this supplication, can be taught it, and can pray the Witr and voluntary prayers, and recite this supplication in their prayer.
"اللهم اهدني فيمن هديت"
Concept #1 - الهدايا (Guidance)
Tell your child: You are now old enough. If you are confused, lost, and do not know what to do, ask Allah for guidance. If you are truthful, Allah will guide you. But you have to follow the manners of making Dua.
"و عافني فيمن عافيت"
Concept #2 - العافية (Wellbeing)
Teach your child to ask Allah for العافية in his heart and body.
What is the sign of wellbeing of the heart? The heart should be free from sicknesses. There are two types of sicknesses affect the heart:
1) الشهوات (Desires)
E.g. Envy, jealousy, pride.
2) الشبهات (Doubts in the Religion)
If your son or daughter has a doubt in Allah's existence, about the Angels, the Judgement Day, it means that he is going through a doubt in his religion. This is a serious matter.
You have to go back to the basics with this child. Say: Do you believe Allah? If he says yes, then say: Allah is the One who created people, causes them to die and will resurrect them on the Day of Judgement. There is no perfect justice in this life, there are people who are oppressed and people who are oppressors, and they die like that. Do you think that Allah is unjust? No he will bring them back for judgement.
Then show him the evidences in the Quran that there is a Day of Judgement and life after death.
It is your responsibility to teach your children the articles of faith, starting with belief in Allah. This is how you will overcome the doubts in their hearts.
Where do they get these sicknesses from?
From the media, the school, their teachers, or their parents themselves may have doubts which they transmit to their children.
It is your responsibility to choose the reading materials for your children. You should check what they are reading, watching, seeing, because it is something difficult to control. Tell your child: Do do not cause disturbance to your mind by reading things which will not benefit you in this life nor your Religion.
The young ones will listen. The teenagers will argue with you. They'll say: What's wrong with it, it's fine, everybody is reading it, etc.
Ask Allah to help you convince them.
When teenagers become teenagers they become overpowered by the waswaas of the Shaytan in their purity, the existence of Allah, etc. They will struggle against these things, so you have to be kind and gentle with your teenager. They are going through a difficult time.
It is important to teach your children from childhood about the story of Adam عليه السلام, and how the Shaytan plotted against Adam عليه السلام to bring him out of Paradise. And he does the same with the children of Adam عليه السلام. Study the actions of the Shaytan in the Quran:
"ينزع" -> Tell your child: The Shaytan is the one making you fight with your brother or sister. Do not listen to the Shaytan; do the opposite of what he wants you to do.
"يوسوس" -> The Shaytan whispers
"زين" -> The Shaytan adorns and beautifies evil deeds to people. Tell your child: Do not let the Shaytan deceive you. This is the work of the Shaytan. Shaytan made you do this.
Teach them that the Shaytan is their enemy.
Many children are afraid of the Shaytan when they grow up because they were not told about him when they were young. Due to this, they may fall into fear of the Shaytan more than the fear of Allah.
What made atheists become atheists? The Shaytan is the one that initiated these doubts in them.
We have to check the belief of our children from time to time and repeatedly mention Allah's actions, the Angels, etc.
E.g. Tell them how the Angels guard a person if he sleeps in the state purity. If he does not, the Shyatan will be there. This will make your child keen to take Whudhu before he sleeps.
"و تولّني فيمن توليت"
Concept #3 - الولاية (To be loved and supported)
You are saying: O Allah, love me, support me, protect me; take me as one of your Awliyaa. O Allah, be my Wali, my Guardian, my Supporter.
Ever since children were young, they need love and support. They always seek it, but are unable to express it. This is why if you tell a child that you do not love him, he will cry. It is a big matter for him that you say that. That is why we should never tell children we do not love them, because we are torturing them when we do that.
You do not know what he is feeling, because seeking الولاية is one of their needs, especially when they are very young.
E.g. Your daughter cries because no one in school is friends with her. Children want to be belong. This is why youths love their football team and wear their shirts; because they like to belong. We have to direct this need in the correct way. Because teams could be disbelieving teams, and the Muslim child will support disbelieving teams against the believers. الولاء و البراء (Loyalty and Disloyalty) is not clear in their hearts. We have to be loyal to the believers, not the disbelievers. If parents neglect this action, when this child grows up, he will not care about being friends with the disbelievers, living with them, settling with them, etc.
If your son or daughter is crying because he or she has no friends, say: Ask Allah for Al-Wilayah, and Allah is enough for you as a Wali.
Who are the Awliyaa of Allah? In Surah Yunus [10:62-63]:
"No doubt! Verily, the Auliya' of Allah [i.e. those who believe in the Oneness of Allah and fear Allah much (abstain from all kinds of sins and evil deeds which he has forbidden), and love Allah much (perform all kinds of good deeds which He has ordained)], no fear shall come upon them nor shall they grieve,"
"Those who believed (in the Oneness of Allah - Islamic Monotheism), and used to fear Allah much (by abstaining from evil deeds and sins and by doing righteous deeds)."
Allah will love and support you, and you do not need the people. If Allah is your Wali, do you know what Allah will do? Allah will be your eyes which you see, your ears with which you hear, etc. Allah will protect your eyes and hearts. Allah only does this with the special people; not with just anyone.
And do you know that if you become a Wali of Allah, if you ask Him, He will give you. If you seek refuge with Allah, He will give you shelter. And if you seek His help, He will help you. This is something special for the Awliyaa. So do not worry about people, ask Allah for His Wilayah.
If you see your child on the side of the disbelievers, say: Allah said in Surah Al-Bayyinah [98:6]:
"Verily, those who disbelieve (in the religion of Islam, the Quran and Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him)) from among the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) and Al-Mushrikun will abide in the Fire of Hell. They are the worst of creatures."
And regarding the believers in Verse 7:
"Verily, those who believe [in the Oneness of Allah, and in His Messenger Muhammad (Peace be upon him)) including all obligations ordered by Islam] and do righteous good deeds, they are the best of creatures."
How can you take the worst of the creation as your friends? You should ally with the best of creation.
In Surah At-Tawbah [9:71]:
"The believers, men and women, are Auliya' (helpers, supporters, friends, protectors) of one another, they enjoin (on the people) Al-Ma'ruf (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do), and forbid (people) from Al-Munkar (i.e. polytheism and disbelief of all kinds, and all that Islam has forbidden); they perform As-Salat (Iqamat-as-Salat) and give the Zakat, and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah will have His Mercy on them. Surely Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise."
The hypocrites do the opposite; they take the disbelievers as Awliyaa instead of the believers.
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