بِسْم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Continuation:
The responsibility of the Tarbiya of Children is great upon the mother and teacher. They are gifts from Allah, and it is our duty to teach them their religion. They may not understand what you are saying now, but will recall everything when they become older. For now, it is your duty to teach and repeat the correct concepts again and again.
The Sources of the Concepts: The Qur'an and Sunnah
You take a verse, a Hadith, or part of a verse or Hadith, and repeat it through the situations they go through.
Concept #2 - العافية (Wellbeing)
We have to draw the attention of the child to the heart. The Prophet ﷺ said:
إِنَّ اللَّهَ لاَ يَنْظُرُ إِلَى صُوَرِكُمْ وَأَمْوَالِكُمْ وَلَكِنْ يَنْظُرُ إِلَى قُلُوبِكُمْ وَأَعْمَالِكُمْ
"Verily Allah does not look to your faces and your wealth but He looks to your heart and to your deeds." [Muslim #2564]
So ask Allah to give you عافية in your heart, by saying "اللهم عافني فيمن عفيت"
When you hear your child saying something which is not right, and indicates a sickness in their heart, you have to draw their attention to the fact that their heart is sick, as well as identify the sickness for them.
The Sicknesses of the Hearts are divided into two main types:
1) الشهوات - Lusts / Desires
When you see the person knowing the truth but not following because it opposes their desire, it means that their heart is sick with الشهوات. This sickness is common and rampant, and is very dangerous.
The person afflicted with this sickness likes what Allah hates. Immorality becomes something normal for them; they see the wrong as something normal, and see the good as something extreme, abnormal, bad.
E.g. To listen to music, talk to boys, etc. These are all منكر, and you find that your daughter loves it. This means that she has the sickness of الشهوات in her heart.
E.g. You hear people calling homosexuality 'freedom'.
You have to tell your child: This is منكر, it is hated by Allah. If it was really freedom or something normal, Allah would not have punish the People of Lut for it.
Many people do not know how to analyze these statements or the attitude of their children. You have to bring the منكر back to its place. If Allah hates it, and you see at it as something normal, there is something wrong with your heart. Say: اللهم عافني في قلبي. Go ask Allah to cure your heart, because it is sick.
E.g. Girls see nudity in front of their Mahaarim as modernity. Modernity is not in nakedness, modernity should be in intellect. Look at what Allah said in Surah Al-A'raf [7:27]:
"O Children of Adam! Let not Shaitan (Satan) deceive you, as he got your parents [Adam and Hawwa (Eve)] out of Paradise, stripping them of their raiments, to show them their private parts. Verily, he and Qabiluhu (his soldiers from the jinns or his tribe) see you from where you cannot see them. Verily, We made the Shayatin (devils) Auliya' (protectors and helpers) for those who believe not."
Shaytan strips us from our clothes. We have to draw their attention to what Allah and the Prophet ﷺ said, to make them realize that what they are thinking of is wrong. When you hear them utter these words, then know that it indicates that their hearts are sick, because it contradicts the sound Fitrah. Even animals do not do this, so how can you see it as freedom for a human being?
This is a dangerous sickness. The number of illegitimate children has increased in the Muslim world because of this sickness. And they call it freedom.
You find a man having a beard, shortening his garment, yet he is sitting in front of the television watching a woman tell the news. And if you ask him, he says he is watching the news. But you are staring at a woman. And if you ask them they call it modernity.
If you find your child having this sickness, your duty is to:
1) Draw their attention to the fact that it is a Munkar. Show him what Allah said in the Qur'an and the Prophet ﷺ said in the Hadith.
2) Tell him to ask Allah for عافية
2) الشبهات - Doubts
This is when a person has doubts about Allah, the Prophet ﷺ, the Qur'an, the Day of Judgement, etc.
This is due to ignorance. When a person has no knowledge of the religion, he will fall into this.
This sickness is even worse than the sickness الشهوات. Because if a person does not have knowlege, he may apostate.
For example, teenagers, who have reached the stage of conviction, may hear or see incorrect information on YouTube and like it. If they have no religious background, because their parents did not teach them about Tawheed, they will search for it, read more and more about it, until they accept the idea and begin to fight for it. When they start fighting for it, they will very rarely accept otherwise no matter what you say. Atheists appeared in the Muslim World because of this.
The disbelievers plan and exert their efforts in making Muslims leave Islam. Things are only happening in Muslim Countries now because of their plans. They direct their efforts towards Muslim Teenagers. Through Social Media, they send messages, raising doubts about Allah's Existence, about Islam, calling them to freedom. The word freedom is appearing more and more on the tongues of the youth. All this has a source. The disbelievers are working hard, and the Muslims are heedless. You should know the danger we are in. We have to work hard on teaching our children who Allah is, who the Prophet ﷺ is, who Shaytan is, etc.
Why do we have children worshipping Shaytan? This devil worship started in Egypt, and spread in Kuwait. People who worship the Shaytan. This is because they think Shaytan is a good creature. And the Shaytan makes them do every kind of sin you can imagine. This is common amongst teenagers, whose parents are wealthy, gave them everything, and they were not brought up on the religion. They ended up worshipping Iblees.
If you do not teach your children the correct Aqeedah, and tell them that the Shaytan is their enemy; that he adorns evil, and neglect then until they become a teenager, it will be difficult for you to convince him that what he is doing is wrong. He will think that you are wrong and what he is doing is right.
You have to take care of the reading materials of your children. Do not tell them to go read, they may open anything and read. You should be the one directing them to beneficial reading materials and read with them if they do not know how to read. Tell him the stories of the Prophets and Messengers, etc.
Nowadays, when parents see their child opening a book and reading they become happy, not paying attention to what he is reading. What they watch and read will cause a disturbance in their thoughts.
And when children become teenagers the Shaytan will overpower them more with waswaas in order to make them not obey Allah. You have to help your daughter or son, especially when they become teenagers. Their hearts may become sick, and you have to help them overcome the waswaas. Be merciful with your children, take them by their hand, help them, work together to overcome it. You should always check up on their Aqeedah, raise questions and see what they answer in order to be sure that they are on the right way. Repeat the facts again and again every time you get the opportunity, until they develop the correct concept in them, and they grow up and use that information in their lives.
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Since children were children, they love to be loved, supported, have friends. They are searching for Al-Wilayah. We should teach them to seek the Wilayah of Allah and not the Wilayah of the People.
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