بِسْم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Correct information given to a child will correct his thinking, and correct thinking will accordingly correct his actions. We are responsible for our childrens actions; it is our duty to learn and give them correct information.
E.g. Children who are 4+ should be told about the Concept of Life.
This includes the story of Adam عليه السلام, how the Shaytan deceived him, how the Shaytan is an enemy to Adam عليه السلام and an enemy to us. He وسوس in the heart of Adam, and he does the same thing to us; he whispers us telling us to do bad things.
When you see your child hitting his brothers or sisters, tell him that the Shaytan is making him do that. He should know the effect of the Shaytan on him. Do not think that the Shaytan leaves children and does not whisper to them; his whispers even extend to them.
A 4 year old girl told her mother whenever she (her mother) called her, she would hear a voice telling her to not respond. We think our children do not hear the whispers of the Shaytan. The children can hear and distinguish between the voice of the Shaytan and the voices of others. We should thus teach our children correct information based on the Qur'an and Sunnah.
Allah created children and gifted them to us while having in them the ability to accept divine teachings; knowledge about the unseen, belief in Allah. We have to use this to prepare our children for a duty;- to Worship Allah.
UNESCO lied to the whole world when they said that children can only accept the tangible - not what is unseen to them. How can Allah command us to teach our children about Him, His Messenger, the Angels, and not prepare them for it? On the contrary, Allah gave us children who are ready to accept the unseen.
Of the proofs of this is that in cartoons there are characters whose form we do not even accept. They have many hands, eyes on different parts of their body, etc, and children enjoy watching these programs. This is because these cartoons satisfy the need to imagine in them, which shows us that children are ready to accept what is unseen and imaginary.
Allah gave children the ability to imagine in order for you to teach them about Allah, the Angels, that one day they will meet Allah, etc. They have no problem accepting this information, because Allah created them with a strong ability to imagine. But we are ignorant about our children.
And all the great meanings of Aqeedah was taught by the Prophet ﷺ to Ibn Abbas رضي الله عنه when he was just a young child:
عن ابن عباس، رضي الله عنهما، قال: " كنت خلف النبي، صلى الله عليه وسلم، يوماً فقال: " يا غلام إني أعلمك كلمات: "احفظ الله يحفظك، احفظ الله تجده تجاهك، إذا سألت فاسأل الله ، وإذا استعنت فاستعن بالله، واعلم: أن الأمة لو اجتمعت على أن ينفعوك بشيء، لم ينفعوك إلا بشيء قد كتبه الله لك، وإن اجتمعوا على أن يضروك بشيء، لم يضروك بشيء إلا بشيء قد كتبه الله عليك؛ رفعت الأقلام، وجفت الصحف"
Ibn Abbas (May Allah be pleased with them) said: One day, I was riding behind the Prophet ﷺ when he said, "O boy! I will instruct you in some matters. Be watchful of Allah (Commandments of Allah), He will preserve you. Safeguard His Rights, He will be ever with you. If you beg, beg of Him Alone; and if you need assistance, supplicate to Allah Alone for help. And remember that if all the people gather to benefit you, they will not be able to benefit you except that which Allah had foreordained (for you); and if all of them gather to do harm to you, they will not be able to afflict you with anything other than that which Allah had pre-destined against you. The pens had been lifted and the ink had dried up". [At- Tirmidhi].
"يا غلام" = He had not yet reached the age of puberty.
Belief in Allah, Belief in the Day of Judgement, and Belief in the Qadar were all taught to a غلام.
This Hadith, along with numerous of other evidences in the Qur'an and Sunnah, indicate that children have the ability understand and believe in the matters of the unseen. Our duty is to learn the Qur'an and Sunnah, and teach our children concepts based on them.
Another concept you have to teach your children is:
سَنَن الله في الخلق - The way Allah deals with His Creation
-> You want to teach your child about الإحسان (Doing good).
First, you need to learn and understand the verses and Hadiths which talk about Ihsan very well. Then you use the situations your child goes through to implant that concept in them.
In Surah Al-Israa [17:7], for example:
"If you do good, you do good for your ownselves, and if you do evil (you do it) against yourselves....."
E.g. She is lazy to pray. Use this verse. Tell her: I will not be harmed if you do bad, you will be harmed. If you do good, you will only benefit yourself.
E.g. There are children who study hard and do good. She goes to school and the teacher does not praise her nor does anyone clap for her, so she comes home upset because she did good and no one appreciated her. Here tell her: If you do good, you do good for yourself. Did you do good so people would praise you and clap for you? We have to teach our children sincerity. Whenever they do good, they should do it for the sake of Allah. And Allah will reward them for their good deed one day.
Or in [55:60]:
"Is there any reward for good other than good?"
E.g. Allah did something good to her. Say: Because you did good, Allah has done good to you.
E.g. If she prayed on time, encourage her by telling her this verse. You will get the reward of this one day, and the Prophet ﷺ said in a Hadith that the most beloved deed to Allah is to pray on time.
Do you know what the meaning of Allah loving you is? It means you will attain every good in this life and in the hereafter.
In Surah Al-Baqarah [2:195]:
"And spend in the Cause of Allah (i.e. Jihad of all kinds, etc.) and do not throw yourselves into destruction (by not spending your wealth in the Cause of Allah), and do good. Truly, Allah loves Al-Muhsinun (the good-doers)."
E.g. Sometimes children are miserly. Her sister wants the chocolate and she does not want to give it to her. Here you can tell her: Do good, Allah loves the Muhsineen. In this way you will encourage your child to do good for the sake of Allah. If you do good, Allah will love you.
And you have to repeat and repeat and repeat and never get fed up of repetition. It is your duty to repeat these verses, concepts, Hadiths all the time, - and this is also beneficial to do with teenagers.
-> You want to teach your child that Allah is الصمد; the One who is resorted to during times of need.
E.g. Your little child comes to you saying he is hungry. Use this situation and make dua, asking Allah to give you food, to make it get cooked quickly, etc.
Let them see you making dua, because when they see you doing that, they will do the same thing when they grow up. When they need food the first thing they will do is ask Allah to give them food. When they grow a little older you can tell them: Do you know why we ask Allah? Because He is الرزاق, not me or your father.
E.g. The teachers at school said to wear yellow or red shirts to school. Make Dua in front of your child: Ya Rabb make it easy for us to get the clothes, and when they see you doing that, they will do the same thing.
But how many times do we do that in front of them? Even though we know the Hadith Qudsi:
"ياعبادي كلكم ضال إلا من هديته فاستهدوني أهدكم"
"O My Slaves, all of you are misguided, except those whom I Have Guided, So seek guidance from Me and I Shall Guide you"
"يا عبادي كلكم جائع إلا من أطعمته فاستطعموني أطعمكم"
"O My Slaves, all of you are hungry, except for whom I fed. So seek food from Me, and I Will Feed you"
"ياعبادي كلكم عار إلا من كسوته فاستكسوني أكسكم"
"O My Slaves, all of you are naked, except for those whom I clothe. So seek clothing from Me, and I Will Clothe you."
But how much are we acting upon it?
We should emphasize that it is Allah who should be sought when you need anything. And the Tarbiya of children should be by using texts from the Qur'an and Sunnah; do not bring any statements from yourself. We should feel that the Qur'an and Sunnah is sufficient for us in the Tarbiya of the children. We do not need any other theories or philosophies to educate our children. You will find all aspects of life in the Qur'an and Sunnah.
The Prophet ﷺ said in a Hadith:
" لَيْسَ مِنَّا مَنْ لَمْ يَتَغَنَّ بِالْقُرْآنِ "
"He is not one of us who does not يتغني with the Qur'an" [Bukhari #7527]
'يتغنى' has two meanings:
1) To recite the Quran in a nice tone
2) To feel that the Qur'an is sufficient as a way of life.
This is a treasure in our hand, but its good will not be given to us, unless we are truthful in seeking it. Allah will only give those who ask Allah in humility to give them the good and make them understand the Qur'an in order to teach themselves and their children. How many times have we asked Allah to make us comprehend the Qur'an and the Sunnah? Then will Allah will open the gate of understanding for us so that we can teach our children.
-> Dua AlQunoot. [Next Week -> ->]
The narrator is AlHasan Ibn Ali رضي الله عنهما - The Grandson after the Prophet ﷺ - who was 7 or 8 when the Prophet ﷺ taught him this dua. This means that this 7 or 8 year old child is ready to be taught the dua of AlQunoot and to pray Witr. Children are ready to pray voluntary prayers.
Do not be like the mothers who say "later, when they are older...", teach your children Witr, the Sunnah of Fajr, and later on the Rawatib.
And because Dua AlQunoot consists of many important concepts, you need to teach it to your child step by step so that the he will understand.
We need to honour the family members of the Prophet ﷺ. We need to teach our children to say رضي الله عنه and رضي الله عنها. They have rights on us, and one of them is to say رضي الله عنهم. You should give brief points to your child about the rights of the family of the Prophet ﷺ and the importance of offering voluntary prayers. -> ->
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