بِسْم الله الرحمن الرحيم
"And Who has measured (preordainments for each and everything even to be blessed or wretched); then guided (i.e. showed mankind the right as well as wrong paths, and guided the animals to pasture);"
"O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allah, but do that which they are commanded."
When Allah gifted you with a child, He prepared him for accepting the divine teachings. Your duty is only to teach.
All children have a have sound فطرة which consists of:
1) المسلمات
2) المحسنات
3) المستقبحات
But they differ in الطباع (Their Inborn Qualities). We have good and inborn qualities; this is something Allah created us with.
You have four or five children. One might be more envious, one more greedy, etc.
What is the duty of the mother? To focus on every child, analyze what qualities they have.
E.g. Your child is very generous. He comes home and has given all his food to his friends. Another one is very miserly. They come from the same womb, but have different inborn qualities.
In [87:2-3]:
"Who has created (everything), and then proportioned it"
If you notice a good quality, you should encourage him + remind him to use it for the sake of Allah.
E.g. You ask for Water, he quickly runs to get it. Remind him to do it for Allah, to hope the reward from Allah, to not expect anything from you.
If you don't teach your child this, the child will grow up doing good just because he's a good person and loves to do good. He'll hardly practice sincerity; it'll be very difficult for him.
If you notice a bad quality in your child, you have to tell your child what the quality is, what Allah said in the Qur'an about it, and help your child overcome this defect. This is when they are ages 6+
E.g. "This is envy, and envy eats up your good deeds"
E.g. You see stinginess in your child. Remind him: "Allah said if you spend, He'll give you 10-700 rewards for the good deeds. On the Day of Judgement, you'll be under the shade when the sun comes very close to the heads of the people"
A mother who focuses on her children can be able to tell their qualities from when they are very young. But you have to have knowledge about the different types of sicknesses of the heart, and be able to distinguish between good and bad characteristics by learning about them.
E.g. Your daughter is shy. Many mothers think that's a defect. Allah loves modesty, how can you encourage your child to be immodest?
If you don't do this while they are children, this sickness will grow with them, until it'll be very difficult to pluck. Look how much we're struggling now against ourselves, because we didn't discover our sicknesses except in the latter stages of our lives. It's not too late, but don't repeat the same mistake with your child.
And use the texts from the Qur'an and Sunnah. Don't invent a punishment and reward from yourself.
-------
Remember the Following:
1) Don't forget الاحتساب. Every single time you teach, have hope that Allah will reward your deed and accept it from you.
2) Your children have فطرة; they are ready to accept the divine teachings and are waiting for you to clarify their doubts.
3) Have الاحتساب; that you are carrying out the command of Allah in [66:6]:
The fire of the Dunya is fueled by gasoline. The fire of the hereafter is fueled by humans and stones. Allah is commanding us to protect our family from the Hellfire. Upon it is appointed angels who are stern, and don't disobey Allah. This is the fire you have to protect yourself from.
السعدي said:
"ووقاية الأنفس بإلزامها أمر الله، و القيام بأمره امتثالًا، و نهية اجتنابها، و التوبة عما يسخط الله و يوجب العذاب"
"Saving oneself means to compel oneself to abide by the commandment of Allah. Adhere to His commands, avoid His prohibitions, and repent from what angers Allah which will bring about the torment on the Day of Judgement.
"ووقاية الأهل [والأولاد] بتأديبهم و تعليمهم، و إحبارهم على أمر الله"
Saving ones family and children means:
1) To teach and nurture them
2) To Compel them to abide by the command of Allah.
"فلا يسلم العبد إلا إذا قام بما أمر الله به في نفسه، و فيما يدخل تحت ولايته من الزوجات و الأولاد و غيرهم ممن هو تحت ولايته و تصرفه"
The slave cannot attain safety until he first establishes the command of Allah within himself and then on those under his responsibility; his wife, children, and anyone else under his authority"
You'll be rewarded for whatever plans you make in order to guide your children, if you have الاحتساب.
E.g. Your son is very lazy and doesn't go to the Friday car although he has a car and drive. Think, make a plan in order to encourage him. Hope that Allah rewards you for this plan. (E.g. You say you want to go to the Friday prayer and ask him to take you.)
E.g. Your children comes home tired and exhausted, and you know if they go to sleep, they'll miss صلاة العصر. So you keep them busy until the prayed, and then let them sleep. You'll be rewarded for this, if you have الاحتساب.
Nothing goes in vain with Allah. He is الشاكر الشكور. A simple thing, which you may not give heed, is great with Allah. Whatever you sacrifice of time, health, of what you prefer and love to what Allah loves, is all in your record.
------
What should I teach my children?
1) تأليه الله
The greatest and most important thing we need to teach our children is تأليه الله
Then as he grows, you teach him about prayer, and other acts of worship.
2) The Reality of this Life
-> His Origin
Where did they come from? Tell them of the Story of Adam عليه السلام; How Allah created Adam from dust, blew the soul in him, and how generations of children are made after him.
The theory of evolution has caused many Muslims to deviate. The child needs to know that he is not created by nothing.
-> "و إليه المصير"
Teach your child his destination. The disbelievers, especially in Japanese films, are trying their best to emphasize reincarnation. Because the souls of their grandfathers are good, they go into stars. Or the souls go into the trees, and you see children talking to trees and the trees replying. They are teaching your child that these inanimate objects have souls and talk. Do you know the seriousness of this matter?
You wonder why they specifically emphasize these concepts. They are corrupting the Aqeedah of our children.
If you don't hurry and correct your child's Aqeedah, the environment will corrupt him. You have to tell your child where he's going after death.
Many mothers find difficulty in teaching their child about death.
Tell your child: Look at the sun. It starts off very weak, becomes strong in the middle of the day, becomes weak at the end and disappears.
The moon starts as a crescent, very weak. Becomes a full moon. Then again becomes weak, disappears, and dies.
The plant starts weak. Becomes strong and beautiful. Then it dies and dries out.
Everything in life is like that, even us humans.
It's so easy for them to accept it.
Also, we don't think of death as something good. But we have to tell our children that after death is Jannah. If you are good in this life, you'll have Paradise. Thus world is constricted. In that world, it's broad. In this world you can't get whatever you want. In Paradise you can have whatever you want.
Talk about the Day of Judgement in detail to the child, from the moment of death to resurrection and recompense. You'll find whatever you did in the Dunya there. And children accept الجزاء. He does good and waits for the good. Tell your child that the recompense isn't in this world, it's in the next. He'll accept that because it's in his فطرة.
-> The Reality of the Life he's Living in
In between, you have to tell your child about the Reality of the Life they're living in. It is the abode of test. Whatever you are going through is a test. But you have a Manhaj; a curriculum you should follow. If you follow it, on the Day of Judgement, you'll be Succesful.
But you have to learn before you teach. How can you teach yourself while you are ignorant? It's not befitting for a mother to teach her child سورة الإخلاص while she herself doesn't know what الصمد means.
Comments
Post a Comment