بِسْم الله الرحمن الرحيم
It's a duty upon those who raise up children to teach them the religion and the reality of this life. The religion is made up of Aqeedah + Action.
Allah prepared our children by giving them the فطرة. So teaching them their Aqeedah isn't difficult at all. They're ready and want to know, but don't know how to express this need.
What do I have to teach my child?
1) تأليه الله
This come from the word وله which means to:
Magnify + Love Allah; to deify Allah
I.e. لا اله الا الله
We should do this from the ages 4-9, before the child begins to pray. And this is give or take, depending on the child. You should start as soon as he can communicate, think, answer, ask, etc.
We have to focus on teaching him about Allah. And there's no need to worry about how to present the concepts to your child, because Allah makes us go through situations daily with our children. During these situations, we have to use our knowledge about Allah - His names, attributes, and action - to teach and explain the situation.
How can I make my child love and magnify Allah?
1) Tell him that everything he sees around him is from Allah.
Do you see that star? Allah is the One that adorned the sky with the stars. And use the words from the Qur'an; there'll be more بركة in your teaching.
2) Refer every gift and blessing back to Allah in detail.
"See how Allah is so kind to you? He gave you eyes to see with, ears to hear with, a tongue to speak with"
Draw his attention to the favours of Allah. "It's not me or your father that gave you this; it's Allah. Out of His mercy, He created you and didn't neglect you."
3) Tell him about Allah's nearness
Children have great fear in their hearts. We have to remove this fear by telling them about Allah. "Don't be afraid, Allah's with you. Allah's near. He can protect you, because He is الحفيظ. He's powerful, if He protects you, no one can touch you with harm"
If he runs to you and asks you for anything: "Ask Allah, Allah's near, He can hear you and give you."
Ask him: "Did you ask Allah first? Then Allah will give you through me or someone else."
If he's older and afraid at night tell him that Allah is القيوم. When everyone's sleeping, Allah never sleeps. "لا تأخذه سنة و لا نوم"
When you sleep your heart is beating, your lungs are working, your stomach is working. How? Because Allah's taking care of you while you're sleeping.
Draw his attention to the names, attributes, and actions of Allah.
Tell him this every day and night, and don't ever get bored and tired of repeating yourself. And don't forget to have إحتساب. Everything you say, every effort you make, will be on your record on the Day of Judgement. Emphasize Tawheed; emphasize لا اله الا الله.
If you do this in every situation, how do you expect this child to grow? He'll love no one except Allah.
E.g. When he becomes 6 or 7 he may start to tell lies, play tricks, deceive his brothers and sisters. Immediately take this chance and tell him that Allah is watchful over Him. I don't know what is in your heart, but Allah knows what's hidden in your heart. Even if you hide and I can't see you, Allah sees you.
Tell him about the رزق of Allah, the حفظ of Allah, etc. until complete love of Allah is established in his heart. Ibn Abbas was a young boy when the Prophet ﷺ told him about the حفظ of Allah.
E.g. You walk past leaves on the ground. You ask your child: Do you know how many leaves there are in the world? No. Do you know how many trees there are? No. I don't know either, but Allah knows.
Things to Remember
-> It's very important to keep in mind that children need to hear information repeatedly. Notice that when you finish reading a storybook, your child turns back to the first page and asks you to read it again. This is out of his nature. He never gets bored, he's happy with hearing the same thing over and over again. You're the one who'll get bored of repeating yourself - but be patient, and have إحتساب.
And this doesn't mean that the child is dumb. This is how Allah created him; to need to be told something many times. The problem with many mothers is that they say it once, and believe that they've done their duty.
E.g. Your child comes to you and asks Where is Allah?
You say: in the heavens.
He'll come to you again tomorrow, and the day after that, and ask Where is Allah?
This doesn't mean he didn't hear you the first time. He knows what you said very well, but he wants to hear the answer again and again, until it's established in his heart and he stops asking you.
So don't ever change your answer or add information until it's fully established.
Then later, when he's older, you can say Allah is in the heavens, and He rose above His a Throne.
-> We have to make our children love Allah. There are so many mothers that make their children hate Allah by constantly saying that Allah will punish them, put them in Hell, etc. not realizing that if a childs heart is filled with love of Allah, they would naturally hate to disobey Him.
-> It's very important to make sure you use the correct words when you express the actions of Allah, otherwise you'll be committing a sin.
-> Be truthful when you teach your children. They can sense your truthfulness.
If you bring your children upon this then don't be afraid for them when they become teenagers and become exposed to bad environments and friends. They may behave strangely when they're teenagers. But they'll come back to what you taught them in the beginning. Be patient with them, they'll go back to normal soon. But you have to be patient, and not lose them.
In a Hadith, the Prophet ﷺ said:
"إن الله عز وجل ليعجب من الشاب ليست له صبوة"
"Indeed, Allah Almighty is amazed by a youth who does not have an inclination to his desires."
-> التأليه starts when you tell them that Allah is the Perfect One.
The first thing people do is ascribe their idols and false deities with perfect attributes. Then they love. Then they worship.
When children love their teacher, they see their teacher as perfect; so kind, so nice. Then they start to love her. Then obey her. These are the stages.
Therefore, if you approach any idol worshippers and find any defect in their gods, they'll discard them.
As soon as you tell a Christian how can your God die, shouldn't God be perfect? He'll say Yes. It's his فطرة that's telling him that.
Talk to the فطرة of these people when you debate with them.
E.g. It's ingrained in our فطرة to love justice. Tell the Christian - How can you commit sins freely and say that Jesus died for them? Is this fair? He'll admit that it isn't fair.
When you take them back to the natural disposition, they'll accept Allah as their only God.
And this is what we need to do with our children. Then they will love Allah. And then they will worship Him.
Don't expect your child to pray when he's 7 when you haven't prepared him from his childhood. Obedience to Allah will be something difficult on him. He'll think why, but won't say it. Only when they start becoming older do we hear them beginning to boldly say Why should I pray to Allah, Why should I obey Him, Who is Allah?
This is no ones fault but yours. You didn't teach him when he was young.
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