بِسْم الله الرحمن الرحيم
"And We split the earth in clefts"
"Verily! It is Allah Who causes the seed-grain and the fruit-stone (like date-stone, etc.) to split and sprout. He brings forth the living from the dead, and it is He Who brings forth the dead from the living. Such is Allah, then how are you deluded away from the truth?"
That's why, in Surah Al-Ikhlas, the first Surah we teach children:
"Verily, Allah enjoins Al-Adl (i.e. justice and worshipping none but Allah Alone - Islamic Monotheism) and Al-Ihsan [i.e. to be patient in performing your duties to Allah, totally for Allah's sake and in accordance with the Sunnah (legal ways) of the Prophet SAW in a perfect manner], and giving (help) to kith and kin (i.e. all that Allah has ordered you to give them e.g., wealth, visiting, looking after them, or any other kind of help, etc.): and forbids Al-Fahsha' (i.e all evil deeds, e.g. illegal sexual acts, disobedience of parents, polytheism, to tell lies, to give false witness, to kill a life without right, etc.), and Al-Munkar (i.e all that is prohibited by Islamic law: polytheism of every kind, disbelief and every kind of evil deeds, etc.), and Al-Baghy (i.e. all kinds of oppression), He admonishes you, that you may take heed."
When Allah ordered parents to raise their children, He didn't make that task difficult for them. He helped them and gave children the tools to learn the religion of Allah. But most parents believe that teaching religion to children is difficult and beyond their scope of understanding. This misconception is also one of the reasons many parents only want one or two children. This is all based on ignorance.
Allah created the child with a sound فطرة - which is the ability to distinguish between right and wrong through correct knowledge; which you're supposed to give him. Your duty is just to give him the correct knowledge - he's ready to take it and act without an objection.
The فطرة consists mainly of:
1) المسلمات - Indisputable Matters; what your childs nature accepts.
E.g.
-> Every action has a Creator/Doer.
Our nature can't accept otherwise.
-> The attribute of the action indicates the attribute of the doer.
He sees the great mountains, so bring to his attention that the Creator of the great mountains is Great.
He sees the high sky, so bring to his attention that the Creator of the high sky is High.
-> Why?
He knows that nothing is created without a purpose.
Man created the pen for a purpose, so how can man be created without a purpose?
-> He believes in الجزاء
He believes in punishment and reward.
-> He has a need to know the beginning of everything.
He wants to know who brought him into this life. Don't say I did. Tell him that Allah is the First and there is nothing before Him.
-> He always equates those who are great and strong with being high.
That's why you find superheroes coming down from and flying in the sky.
We have to activate our child's فطرة by raising questions, letting him think, and then answering your question for him. This is based on the Hadith of the Prophet ﷺ.
2) المستحسنات - Good things which our nature accepts
E.g.
-> Justice.
All people, regardless if they believe in Allah or not, believe in justice.
-> All humans love good-doers.
-> All humans love to thank those who do good to them.
Whenever we learn a new language, one of the first things we want to learn is how to say thank you in that language. It's part of our فطرة.
-> All humans love perfection.
If you break a biscuit the child will cry. Because he wants the whole biscuit; he loves perfection.
Even we don't like taking the piece of cake which is messed up. We have a natural tendency to take the most perfect looking one.
Our role is to tell our children who the perfect one is. Allah is perfect, and no one is perfect except Allah.
-> He loves good morals, and is created with inborn modesty.
But it's the mothers who make their children wear sleeveless shirts, short skirts, so the child grows up loving nudity. We need to preserve their modesty.
Similarly your child loves loyalty, he loves generosity, etc.
What is our role? We have to tell him that the absolute good doer is only Allah. But it's not enough to say this statement. We have to go in detail, and have patience in describing the إحسان. Return every blessing to its origin; and that's Allah.
E.g. He loves milk. Allah created the cow, Allah sent the rain and the grass comes out, Allah makes the cow eat the grass, Allah makes the milk inside the cow, Allah gives you the strength to milk the cow, etc. So Allah is the provider of the milk.
E.g. The bread is from Allah. Allah created the seed. Allah gave us the strength to plant. Allah created the earth. Allah split the seed. We take the seed, grind it, and make the bread. Allah gave us the bread.
You should not become bored of repeating this story everyday. And use the actions of Allah mentioned in the Qur'an.
E.g.
In [80:26]:
In [6:95]:
And do this with every blessing he has. So who is the real good doer? Allah.
In this way, you'll make your child love Allah.
Children are always looking for a Qibla. They have great fear in their hearts, and parents don't perceive the severity of this fear. They're looking for support, someone strong, someone who can help them. But we rebuke them, not realizing the amount of fear they have in their hearts.
So when your child comes running to you because he's scared, don't tell him to not be afraid because his sister is sleeping in the same room as him. Don't tell him to call you when he's afraid, you'll always be there for him. Don't tell him to go to his father.
Tell him no one can protect him except Allah, the Powerful. You can't do anything, only Allah can change his fear into security.
And ask him, "Who do you think is the most strongest?"
He'll think and think and give you examples. Then tell him that Allah is the Strongest. He is قيوم over us, even when we're sleeping; He makes the blood flow through our veins. Teach him about Allah's names, and make his heart attached to Allah.
That's why, in Surah Al-Ikhlas, the first Surah we teach children:
"Say (O Muhammad (Peace be upon him)): "He is Allah, (the) One."
"Allah-us-Samad (The Self-Sufficient Master, Whom all creatures need, He neither eats nor drinks)."
Allah is One. And He is الصمد. He is perfect in His power, strength, knowledge, etc. So only attach your heart to Allah.
3) المستقبحات - Things which are ugly; what the nature can't accept
Children can distinguish between good and bad. When they do something wrong, they either hide, or look earnestly at your reaction. Because they know they're doing something wrong.
If you look at him with a stern face, the child will know he can't do it.
But if you laugh, smile, take a picture of him and send it to your friends, you'll distort his فطرة and he won't know the right from the wrong.
E.g.
-> He hates oppression and injustice.
Some mothers scold all their children when one child makes a mistake. This is oppression; and you're distorting the child's فطرة - which is that the wrongdoer should be punished and the good doer should be rewarded.
Even if he sees you beating his brother or sister he'll cry or become upset. Because he doesn't like beating, crying, yelling.
-> He hates loud voices. This is something ingrained in his فطرة.
And all these good characteristics are mentioned in the Qur'an; it came conforming with our فطرة:
In [31:19]:
"And be moderate (or show no insolence) in your walking, and lower your voice. Verily, the harshest of all voices is the voice (braying) of the ass."
In [16:90]:
Understand the فطرة before anything. If you don't understand it, then your child's situation will be as the Prophet ﷺ said:
"مَا مِنْ مَوْلُودٍ إِلَّا يُولَدُ عَلَى الْفِطْرَةِ فَأَبَوَاهُ يُهَوِّدَانِهِ وَيُنَصِّرَانِهِ وَيُمَجِّسَانِهِ...."
'No one is born except upon natural instinct, then his parents turn him into a Jew or Christian or Magian...." [Agreed upon]
Your child has many questions and needs answers. And you are the person who has to give your child the correct answers. Use the Qur'an and Sunnah to teach him, and you can't do that unless you first learn. How can you talk to your children about Allah and you yourself don't know who Allah is?
And don't say anything you're not truthful regarding. Children are so smart when it comes to feelings. They look at your face and know if you're angry or happy or sad without you telling them. When you tell them not to be afraid, Allah is with you, then do you as a mother really resort to Allah when you need Him? Or are you just saying mere words?
Children can feel your truthfulness. If you aren't truthful your words will have no effect on them.
And he watches you - checks if you act upon what you're teaching him. He's observing you 24/7. You think he's in another world, but he's in your world, and you don't feel of it.
So take care of this before they get older and start speaking and criticizing you. You wonder where it comes from. From their observation of you when they were young.
Comments
Post a Comment