بِسْم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Allah said in [4:1]:
"الذي تسآلون به و الأرحام" refers to when people say, "I ask you by Allah and then by the relation of the رحم (the womb - I.e. my relationship with you). This intepretation is according to the statements of Ibrahim, Mujahid, and Al-Hasan.
Ad-Dahhak said, "Fear Allah whom you invoke when you conduct transactions and contracts"
So the meaning of this part of the verse is to fear Allah whom we magnify, such that we ask each other by His name.
Why is this verse mentioned in سورة النساء?
سورة النساء means "The Women" and discusses Social Relationships (The relationship between men and women, inheritance, kit and kin, etc.)
Allah's drawing our attention a very important matter in social relationships - and that's Taqwa of Allah and belief that He is الرقيب.
If this is absent, our social relationships will be spoilt.
But when it's present, our relationships with people will progress until we reach a state where we become the foremost and utmost in عطاء while waiting for the reward from Allah. We'll have Taqwa in our hearts when we deal with others, and we'll be truthful with Allah.
When there's no Taqwa and lack of awareness of Allah's watchfulness, there'll be betrayal and treachery between husband, wives, and between people.
Let's elaborate on this point:
In the Qur'an, whenever Allah orders us with an etiquette or good conduct, He says:
"ياأيها الذين آمنوا"
(O You who Believe)
There are two kinds of good conduct:
1) For Benefit
Such as when you need or want something from someone.
2) تعبدية - As an act of Worship to Allah
This is based on your faith.
E.g. Allah says in [49:12]:
The place of suspicion is in the heart. When you know Allah by His name الرقيب, you'd know He watches your heart and sees if you're assuming evil of someone, or fighting the thought and repelling it for His sake. And this is all due to your belief, because the person who's sitting in front of you has no idea what's going through your mind.
This is the extent your belief in Allah's watchfulness over you straightens your social behaviour.
E.g. In [58:11]:
Making place for others to sit in an assembly requires belief that Allah sees you.
Why? Someone might pass by you in the Haram, looking for a place to sit. You say, "There's no place, it's so crowded" and yet when your daughter comes, you make room for her. This action of giving room was not done for Allah's sake nor seeking nearness to Him.
But if you believe that Allah sees you, you'll make room for people, hoping that Allah gives you space while you're in your grave and on the Day of Judgement.
And if you rise up so people can pass by, rise up believing that Allah is watching your heart, and hope that as you rose up for Allah sake, Allah will exalt you in degrees with Him.
Good conduct will not be well established except after believing in Allah.
سورة النساء puts restrictions on social relationships, specifically on the relationship of men with woman. It should be based on Taqwa.
The man is in authority, and needs to be reminded of Taqwa and Allah's observation on His heart. The woman should as well, especially with her husbands secrets and during his absence.
You find a woman might be oppressed in one aspect by her husband, and because of it she cries out to people, gets them to support her against her husband, even going as far as forging lies, and she becomes the bigger oppresser in the end.
Or they sit in assemblies and talk about the secrets of their partners while they're unaware, and then tell the other people not to tell the partner, feeling at rest with their action. You don't realize that their rights are preserved with Allah.
In conclusion: All the treachery in the relationship between man and woman is due to lack of belief in the name of Allah الرقيب. Their relationship will not be reformed unless both sides fear Allah and believe in His observation.
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