Tarbiya 1 - (24/03/16)

We will focus on two issues:

1) Those who are in the field of educating children whether they are teachers, or mothers, or guardians of children. 

2) What you have to teach. 

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ONE: Bringing up and educating children is an act of worship. It is an act with which you can draw nearer to Allah (طاعة و قربة إلى الله) like fasting, prayer, giving charity.

We should seek nearness to Allah through bringing up our children.

TWO: Since it is an act of worship, the two conditions for a good deed to be accepted should be fulfilled:   

1) Sincerity. 

You need to seek Allah's pleasure when you are raising your children.

2) It should follow the way of the Prophet ﷺ

It has to be performed according to the Qur'an and Sunnah. We can not follow any other methodology, just like we can not pray according to our whims and desires. We can't commit Shirk, innovations, or deviate from the right path regarding it.

Bringing up the children is not according to your desires - it is a must. If you fall into any shortcomings regarding your children, you will be accounted by Allah on the Day of Judgement. 

THREE: الاحتساب 

This is derived from the word "حساب، حسبة" - calculation or the act of counting. 

Whatever you're doing whether it's advising your children, it's as if you are saying, "O Allah, you hear and see me, I'm doing this action for your sake, accept this from me and reward me for it. I want this reward on the Day of Judgement when I meet you" 

If you do it, your name with Allah will be a محتسب. 

When you wake up your children to pray, have احتساب. Whether you are teaching or feeding them, ask Allah to accept it from you and reward you for it. 

If you do this all the time with every action, whether it's minute or big, imagine all the rewards you'll get in a day. But we forget to have احتساب.

What is the description of the محتسب? 

1) The محتسب is always seeking the countenance and pleasure of Allah. 

She does every action hoping to get the reward in the next world, not in the Dunya.

Many mothers do good to their children because they want their children to do good to them. They're hoping for worldly gain. She wants her daughter to love her, her son to help her when he becomes old. 

And this is contrary to the intention of the محتسب. She only seeks the reward of the next world - the pleasure of Allah. 

She counts her deed, saying in her heart, "O Allah, be pleased with me. I'm teaching my child for your sake, add it to my record of good deeds" 

2) She looks at every blessing as a favour from Allah.

The محتسب knows why Allah gave her children -> in order to worship Allah by them. She looks at matters different from the people of the Dunya.

قال عمر رضي اللّه عنه : "أيها الناس احْتَسِبُوا أعْمَالكم فإن من احْتَسب عمَله كُتب له أجْرُ عَمَله وأجر حِسْبَته" 

Umar used to tell people to count their deeds, for whoever does so will get double reward - the reward of his deed, and the reward of what's his heart.

3) المحتسب is always concerned about the next life. 

She believes in Allah, His promises, and the meet with Him. She believes that a day will come when she will meet Allah, and He'll ask her about her children. She hopes for reward on the Day of Judgement.

The hereafter is the greatest issue that's absent from our minds. We forget the next life and always focus on this world. We need to strive hard to keep the next life and the meeting with Allah alive in our hearts. 

She knows that her deeds will be presented to Allah, and He will ask us in detail about everything we do and say. So she prepares an answer for every question, and doesn't neglect her children. 

In [76:8-11]:

"And they give food, inspite of their love for it (or for the love of Him), to Miskin (poor), the orphan, and the captive,"

Allah is praising and describing the pious, who will enter Paradise on the Day of Judgement. Allah is describing their state in the Dunya. They used to feed the poor, the orphan, the captive, and when they did that - What was their intention? 

"(Saying): "We feed you seeking Allah's Countenance only. We wish for no reward, nor thanks from you."

They did it all seeking the face of Allah. They want to see Allah. And they don't want gratitude, compensation, or thanks.

Ask yourself - What is in my heart when I feed my children and cook food they like?

We lack احتساب. We cook because we have to cook and feed them. And this is why many mothers end up being fed up of cooking, ironing, cleaning. If you had احتساب you would do all this happily, because you're going the reward from Allah. 

You won't even ask your children how the food is, seeking praise. But our problem is that we want جزاء and شكور in the Dunya. We don't even think about the next life. 

Imagine how many rewards we are deprived of when we feed, iron, clean, and don't have احتساب. The children are out and at school and don't see how much you suffer and tire, but Allah sees you. So let your intention be solely for Him. And then your cooking will become an عبادة. Your cleaning will become an عبادة. You'll become happy in doing these chores, and you'll be rewarded for it. 

If men knew these rewards they'd envy you. And women nowadays compete to work outside with men, leaving these great rewards in the house.

Why are you feeding people?

"Verily, We fear from our Lord a Day, hard and distressful, that will make the faces look horrible (from extreme dislikeness to it)."

Because you are afraid of a hard, distressful day. You think of that day, not the Dunya.  

So how will Allah reward you? 

"So Allah saved them from the evil of that Day, and gave them Nadratan (a light of beauty) and joy."

"And their recompense shall be Paradise, and silken garments, because they were patient."

Mothers and teachers suffer with harm they get from their children. But Allah will reward you for your patience on the Day of Judgement. Isn't that enough for you?